D-Backs '06: Neutered, Disgraced, DOA

This should come as no big surprise to anyone who has been following the team this year. But it is even more the case tonight, as they are on the verge of being shutout - without a hit - against a rookie pitcher with barely a dozen starts this year.

The local Fox Sports affiliate was wise to very quickly yank the silly promo that called this year's team, "A New Brand of Baseball" because it's the same, miserably pathetic display of overpriced, grab-asstic shit Arizona fans have been forced to hold their noses and eat for the past 2-3 seasons.

Here's a great fund-rasing idea, instead of a singles mixer, or the absurd "Pitch and Stitch"....how about a "Bash the D-Backs Brass" night where fans could pay $25 each to show up and hurl their favorite bobblehead doll of choice at overpaid premadonnas like Chad Tracy and all the members of the D-backs management team, who would be buried up to their necks in a pool of raw human sewage somewhere out in midfield.

::::::THIS JUST IN::::::

The Arizona Diamondbacks - after suffering yet another humilating defeat at the hands of an unknown rookie pitcher - have announced that they will buck MLB tradition next year by being the first team ever to incorporate matching skirts as part of their highly-anticipated new look for 2007.