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A team of leading academic researchers in artificial intelligence, language evolution, agent-based simulation and evolutionary computing are planning to create a virtual society populated with artificial beings capable of learning and evolving.
I'll admit that this sounds like the stuff of video games and science fiction but it's definitely well worth the read.
Could Nathan Gale have been stopped? One would think that after a crazed lunatic jumped on stage and caused you nearly $2,000 in damages, the next time you played anywhere near that city, especially if it's only 9 months later, you might think to yourself, "Cincinnati? Hey, isn't that where that crazy sonofabitch went all batshit on our security dudes? I know we're playing Columbus this time but I wonder if that fucker's gonna be there? Maybe we should be on the lookout just in case he shows up?"
Easily earning the cover story in this week's issue of "What the Fuck?" is the news that 3,747 samples of the deadly 1957 H2N2 flu virus that killed between one and four million people were somehow shipped to thousands of labs (5,000 to be exact) spread out across 18 countries.
Well sports fans, it's been an exhausting past couple of weeks in my little corner of the space-time continuum, and my posts have suffered considerably as a result.
For as long as I've been doing this, I've often had to take a break every now and then to relax, zone out and/or deal with whatever life is throwing at me at the moment. The drought over these past couple of weeks has been due to my need to do both.
I can't remember the last time I watched "Hardball", "Meet the Press", or C-SPAN's "Washington Journal" and don't give a fat rat's ass if I ever do again.
Right now there are just too many things going on in this country, and the world, that are too absurd, horrifying and/or exhausting to bear witness to, much less comment on.
These are heavy times indeed, and I thank the Great Spirit with every fiber of my being for the start of baseball season. And before someone mentions it, let the record show that I could fucking care less about the whole steroid controversy.
Even if it were revealed today that every player in the league has been spiking their pituitary gland with Lyle Alzado and Andre the Giant's DNA, I still wouldn't give a shit.
The way I see it, the rigors of everyday life necessitate certain distractions that afford each of us some measure, however meager, of relief from the demons of cognition. And baseball is mine. Or at least one of them, anyway, and a fucking big one at that.
So purists be damned. I say let the mutants juice themselves up with whatever the fuck they want - bring on the X-Men and Dr. Moreau's Rejects.
Like Bobby and Whitney need their crack pipe, and like Dubya needs his Bible, I need this fucking game. So badly in fact that I forked over $149 for a subscription to MLB Extra Innings. My wife seemed less than thrilled, and we may yet have to buy another TV before the end of the season.
More on this story as it develops.
From one-eyed strippers in East St. Louis, to leather-clad octogenarians on Bourbon Street, to the re-election of a lying colostomy bag with spurs as leader of the so-called free world, I've seen some weird and freakishly unclassifiable shit in my time, but I never thought I'd live to hear Jane's Addiction's "Mountain Song" used in a Coors commercial.
I know they're not the first, and definitely won't be the last, but I just never get used to it. Seeing the band that gave us "Ted, Just Admit It" and "Pigs In Zen" sell out to one of the most conservative corporations in America was the psycho-musicological equivalent of Uma Thurman's needle scene in "Pulp Fiction" - a white-hot steel spike of sheer commercial horror that pierced my skull, and that portion of my heart where the music I grew up with resides.
Somehow, not even Bob Dylan's recent transformation from voice of a generation to lingerie pimp induced as much raw, gut-level revulsion as this.
So what next? "3 Days" in a Wal-Mart commercial?
Neil Young was treated for a brain aneurysm earlier this week and is currently recovering in a New York hospital, where he's expected to make a full recovery.
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