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I was going to say something like, "You've gotta be pretty drunk to do something like this." But being drunk just doesn't go far enough in my book. This guy was severely hemorrhaged to begin with.
Bush's choice of comb-slurping ghoul Paul Wolfowitz to head the World Bank is about as appropriate as picking Gary Glitter or Michael Jackson to run the Boy Scouts.
This just in from The Onion: a body found at Neverland Ranch has been positively identified as that of the real Michael Jackson.
The discovery confirms what many have long suspected, that the sideshow reject that has been parading around as MJ over the past 18-20 years is either an alien, or some sort of bizarre genetic mutation.
The good news is that it seems almost certain that Jackson will direct it. The bad news is it looks like it's going to be at least 3 years before they can even begin work on it.
"We're tired of people who live in another country thumbing their noses at our laws, our culture and our customs, and threatening what we've spent generations building."
- Ruth Evelyn Cowan, Southern Arizona rancher, 2005.
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"We're tired of people who live in another country thumbing their noses at our laws, our culture and our customs, and threatening what we've spent generations building."
- likely quote from Cochise and any other Chiricahua Apache who inhabited Southern Arizona long before ranchers, miners and other Anglo settlers moved in and destroyed the Apache way of life.
This commercial parody was the intro on the March 4 airing of HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher....fucking hilarious...especially so since I can't fucking stand those obnoxiously disgusting Carl's Jr. commercials, and also because it epitomizes, in a perverse way, the American way of life....I only wish I had the picture to go with it...
ANNOUNCER: Hey, America! Do you like burgers? Do you really like burgers? Well, come see what’s cooking at Carl’s Sr. [laughter] We took eight pounds of flame-broiled Angus beef. [laughter] Topped with crispy lettuce, pickles, fresh tomatoes, two kinds of bacon, our secret sauce, a third kind of bacon, [laughter] onion rings, Tex-Mex chili, [laughter] another eight-pound beef patty, [laughter] mushrooms in savory sauce, a personal pan pizza, [laughter] nachos, a ham-and-cheese omelette, old-fashioned country gravy, a steaming mound of our three-alarm buffalo wings, [laughter] guacamole, four of our regular burgers, [laughter] sauerkraut and a mild mustard, all topped with our cinnamon apple fritter. [laughter]
The Carl’s Sr. Freedom Burger. If you can’t finish it, they win…[laughter]
Also available with cheese. [applause]
By now, most of you are probably excruciatingly familiar with those annoying pieces of framed corporate propaganda that are supposed to motivate and inspire the spineless, blithering Dilbert in each of us.
By way of a very dear friend of mine I was recently introduced to Despair.com and this hilarious line of amotivational art for those who have a more cynical take on the dehumanizing influence of Corporate America.
Being the aging metal-alternahead that I am, and with the music industry still awash in a fetid sea of pseudo-punk-rap-metal-industrial tripe, it's been awhile since something new caught my attention.
Boasting an eclectic sound inspired by the likes of Pink Floyd, Neu, Can, Brian Eno, Tangerine Dream, La Dusseldorf, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, The Band, My Bloody Valentine, and Spiritualized - The Secret Machines are definitely the most refreshing band I've heard in a long fucking time. Follow the link to their site, where you can hear their debut CD "Now Here Is Nowhere" in its entirety. For starters, I highly recommend listening to Track 2: "Nowhere Again" before moving on to the rest of the CD.
"Religion is a gateway psychosis."
- Dave Foley, on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, March 4, 2005
Stevie Nicks & Don Henley, Queensryche & Judas Priest, Robert Plant & an artist to be named later? Following the short-lived revival of Lollapalooza, it sounds like it might be a decent summer after all....
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