Ablogalypse Now

Post-Meet The Press Thoughts

Those who tuned in today were treated to a pathetic attempt at damage control by the Catholic church on the heels of a damning report documenting over 10,000 incidents of sexual abuse spanning the last 50 years. It was the sort of evasive, mealy-mouthed doublespeak more commonly used by those in the political arena and I quickly grew weary of the guests' refusal to truly acknowledge the seriousness of the crimes committed.

I also found it interesting how political columnist Robert Novak - a man whose involvement in the highly illegal outing of undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame is still under investigation - was allowed to participate in Russert's poltical round table discussion.

With the church scandal piece taking up the bulk of the show, I was struck by what appears to be a shifting focus in the media, and by extension the nation.

A little more than two weeks ago, the mayor of San Francisco authorized gay marriages in his city.

On Wednesday, we saw the premiere of Mel Gibson's new Jesus movie and the subsequent firestorm of debate over who really killed the Messiah.

On Thursday, bloated media conglomerate Clear Channel Communications - an entity that has given 75% of its political contributions in the current election season to the GOP - shit-canned radio shock jocks Howard
Stern and Bubba the Love Sponge for "indecency".

On Friday came the damning reports mentioned above.

So what gives here?

Is a new cultural War on Indecency trumping the War on Terror and shifting the focus away from the Bush Administration's ongoing failures?

It sure as hell seems like it.

1, 2, 3.....CLEAR!

(FUBAR News)--Second Lady Lynne Cheney smiles after a successful test of the new, high-tech micro-defibrillator that allows her to quickly and easily restart the Vice President's heart with a casual touch of her hand.

Help me....

"I'm being held hostage by a fat drunken slob in New Orleans who humiliates the hell out of me every year by dressing me up like Elton Fricking John."

Sky, Blue and Black....

Trying to focus enough to write something coherent. Found out that Coleman's death was most likely due to chronic renal (kidney) failure. Now trying to fend off a barrage of thoughts about what we did or didn't do that could have saved him. I know there are some who wouldn't equate the loss of a pet with the loss of a human loved one but that's a load of crap. It's painful either way. I thought that having been there eight years ago with my dad as he died would have somehow steeled me for the loss of Coleman. I guess in a way it did, but it was still so frigging hard. I'm glad we chose to be there at the end though. He deserved at least that. Even in the midst of his suffering he lifted his head and his tail wagged faintly as we came into the room. After spending a few minutes scratching his favorite places, we spoke in comforting tones and held him as he was finally delievered from his suffering.

A word of caution for anyone out there who may one day find themselves in a similar situation having to put down a beloved pet. Unlike the movies, where the end of a human life is usually followed by a scene where someone gently closes the person's eyes, a dogs' eyelids don't close the same way and remain open and staring after the end comes. This was a little unsettling for the both of us but I managed to turn his head a little so it wasn't as bad. So I'm trying to remember the good things that made Coleman who he was. The way he would groan when you scratched his head, how he would dance around when you scratched above his tail, how he would circle a spot 3-4 times before laying down, and always, his bark. I guess in time That's what I will most remember, but right now all I can see is the way his tail wagged that last time.

Yes there is much going on in the world. The Pentagon is now saying that the sky is falling. Iran is babbling about Osama having been caught and put in storage for some sort of Bush slam dunk in October, what else? I could look around some more but right now I just don't care. Maybe some coffee will help.

Rest in Peace, Coleman

In memory of happier times.

My heart aches and my mind is too numb to think.

Your pain is over Buddy, we'll see you on the other side.

Insomnia, Death, and The Long Road

2 a.m. now on another sleepless night made even more stressful by the rapidly declining state of our dog Coleman’s health. He has an appointment for Friday morning but I don’t think he’s going to make it that far. I got up to get a drink earlier and he was nowhere to be found. A quick look outside found him curled up in the grass, shivering in the cold. I gathered him up and carried him back inside. He’s now laying on the floor next to me, breathing heavily and looking very much like he’s ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge. When I was a young boy, I remember quite clearly the first dog I ever bonded with who, heeding some inner call, crawled under our house to die in peace. I honestly think that’s what Coleman was doing when he went outside earlier. I just gave him a half teaspoon of Hydrocodone, in the hopes it would make him more comfortable and allow him to sleep but it doesn’t appear to have done any good. I may give him some more here in a bit. This just flat-out sucks. The only thing that makes it somewhat easier to bear is knowing that he is 13 – quite ancient for a Dalmatian and that he has had a long life. That’s something of a cold comfort at the moment. Sitting here, watching this poor animal, reminds me of the suffering my dad endured in the days and hours before he passed on. I stood there and watched him draw his last breath and there was nothing I could do except hold him as the life slowly left his body. It must suck to be a dog and to be sick and not know what’s going on, but then again maybe it’s better that they don’t know. At any rate, I think I’ll curl up on the floor with Coleman and hope he makes it till morning. All this brings to mind a beautiful song, “The Long Road” by Eddie Vedder and Nusret Fateh Ali Khan that was featured in the movie “Dead Man Walking”.

And I wished for so long, cannot stay...
All the precious moments, cannot stay...
It's not like wings have fallen, cannot stay...
But I feel something's missing, cannot say...

Holding hands are daughters and sons
And their faiths just falling down, down, down, down...
I have wished for so long
How I wish for you today

We all walk the long road. Cannot stay...
There's no need to say goodbye...
All the friends and family
All the memories going round, round, round, round
I have wished for so long
How I wish for you today

And the wind keeps roaring
And the sky keeps turning gray
And the sun is set
The sun will rise another day...

We all walk the long road. Cannot stay...
There's no need to say goodbye...
All the friends and family
All the memories going round, round, round, round
I have wished for so long
How I wish for you today
How I've wished for so long
How I wish for you today

We all walk the long road (3x)

The Spongemonkeys Must Die!!!

Up until a couple of days ago, I only knew that these two freakishly disturbing creatures were part of the most gut-wrenchingly annoying display of commercial pornography that I've ever seen.

I've since discovered that we have the British to thank for these idiotic creations known as the Spongemonkeys.

Thanks guys. Thanks a fucking lot. And thanks to the sapheaded marketing geniuses (genii?) at Quiznos for deciding that two mangled pieces of roadkill were the best way to sell a sandwich.

You know, I love a good sandwich and have often thought about going to Quizno's.

Until now. Now I can honestly say that I would sooner eat a booger out of dead man's nose than eat a Quizno's sub.

Back in the 70's, convicted "Son of Sam" killer David Berkowitz claimed that a dog told him to kill people.

What if I said that the Spongemonkeys told me to send the marketing director at Quizno's a cage of rabid wolverines, or a box of speed-addled flesh-eating beetles, or something equally hideous?

Or, how about a "Send Your Roadkill to Quizno's" Campaign? Just imagine, roadkill from all over the country being delivered to the Quizno's home office. Maybe that would get these crackheads to kill this ad campaign.

I know, I know....it's just a commercial and I can always just hit MUTE or change the channel, right?

Wrong! Commercials are specifically designed to embed themselves in your brain like those weird slugs that Khan used to control people's minds in Star Trek II.

I'm now going to bed with this obnoxious shrieking sandwich song in my head. Thanks again Quizno's.

Moral Hypocrites Launch Media Witch Hunt

CNN) -- The nation's largest radio chain has taken shock jock Howard Stern off its stations indefinitely for running afoul of new decency standards.

Yes sports fans, hot on the heels of Janet's Jackson's unplanned wardrobe malfunction, a new media witch hunt appears to be gaining momentum.

I'm not a big Howard Stern fan but this latest move by media monolith (and a leading GOP donor on the Top 10 media conglomerate donor list*) Clear Channel Communications seems to be more than a little ridiculous.

For chrissakes people! Don't we have bigger fish to fry here?

I'm offended every time George Dubya opens his mouth. THAT's why I choose not to watch him speak unless it's absolutely necessary.

Isn't that what makes this country great? Choices?

Thinking people can exercise a bit of free will and CHOOSE not to listen to Bubba the Love Sponge or Howard Stern, but apparently they are just too fucking lazy to do it and so they complain to the government to step in and decide for the rest of us what is decent and what isn't.

A Tender Moment....

In a rare intimate moment not often glimpsed by the public, a blushing President Bush smiles at Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili after confessing his love of watching "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" while wearing his wife's underwear.

God, the Screenwriter

I was going to try and steer clear of talking about the new movie about the brutal torture and crucifixion of the world's most popular Jewish carpenter but this was just too ridiculous to pass up.

I guess we'll probably find out soon that Satan was the creative inspiration behind Martin Brest's "Gigli".

ADDENDUM:

Even more absurd is the following line of jewelry inspired by "The Passion of the Christ".

Is that a replica of a crucifixion nail on a leather thong? Awwwww, how adorable. And what a conversation piece too! Just what every True Believer wants for Christmas.